Jan. 17th, 2007

standardblack: (Inside Relentless Mind)
He wasn’t angry at her. Not in the least.

Jack stood there, watching Kate sink into Sawyer’s arms...a blurred, black and white mass of humanity and bare, tangled limbs on the floor of a cage outside the facility somewhere, coming through the surveillance monitor embedded in the wall before him. He watched as their lips met...slow and soft, as she shifted in his arms just a little, just enough to get closer.

For a moment, an image was superimposed over the two of them in his mind’s eye...features with a beauty that was more handsome than extraordinary, that came together as beauty should and not in bits and pieces of what should have been a very plain, very ordinary looking woman.

Kate shouldn’t have been as lovely as she was...but somehow the curly brown hair, the freckles, the simple green eyes...they came together in an image that haunted his dreams. Sara was beautiful as a woman ought to be.

The man in Jack’s mind had no face...he never would.

Once she’d been fixed he’d left her, all without ever straying from his home or the arms of the woman he’d married. He’d been so quick to have her...and now he wasn’t. He wasn’t overly eager, and he was cautious with the new, shining thing he’d found with the dangerous, wounded enigma calling herself Kate Austen.

This time he’d been too cautious...the one time he’d held back, he realized that he hadn’t held on hard enough. Not like he’d held onto Sara.

He wasn’t angry at Kate. He wasn’t really even angry at himself. And though the old hurts rose, threatened to choke him...he didn’t mourn, didn’t grieve the loss right in front of his face.

He was drowning in his mistakes, but he was done fighting them. He let them choke, stopped swimming and breathed in the dark water, allowing it to fill his lungs and let him sink. There was a measure of comfort to be had...a shred of warmth and life, knowing that she had somebody. He had a fairly confident bead on Sawyer...it was ultimately how he knew he’d get the heroin from him.

They really did share a connection...and Sawyer wouldn’t hurt her if he could help it.

Jack only prayed that Sawyer’s notion of what he could and couldn’t help fell in line with his.

Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Words: 401

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Dr. Jack Sheppard

December 2007

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