standardblack: ([Emote] Out of Destruction)
[personal profile] standardblack
I deal in the concrete, the tangible. It’s my stock in trade as a physician, so to a degree I suppose the unknown frightens me more than anything. At the same time, though...it appeals to me. Unexplored territories, uncharted vistas...pioneering new and unseen terrain, discovering and learning things beyond what I know. It excites me...I guess that’s part of being a doctor, too...being a scientist: fearing the unknown, and embracing the unrealized.

There are other things I fear, though...things I couldn’t fear until I got to this island. Back in the real world, I feared the things everyone is scared of...rejection, losing those I loved, crossing the street and getting hit by a bus...I feared the normal world and all its ever present dangers, personal and physical.

Then I got here...and fear took on a whole new meaning.

It wasn’t just what I had to fear, either...jungle monsters, polar bears, Others who were ready and willing to kill and kidnap us for whatever purpose drives them. The more that time passes here, the more I lose...the more we all lose. This isn’t the real world, position and possessions don’t matter. Physical dangers are easier to see and recognize...food and water are precious commodities. Bodies hone down to muscle and sinew, perspectives shift to put survival at the top of your list of priorities rather than bills and job performance.

This place has stripped us all down to the core...it’s robbed us of everything and shattered our illusions of what we try so hard to be, and taken us down to who we really are. And me? I’ve lost so much that once mattered to me...and the more I lose, the less I fear.

It’s gotten to the point where I feel like nothing scares me anymore.

And that’s the one thing that frightens me most of all.

Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Words: 317
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Dr. Jack Sheppard

December 2007

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