standardblack: ([Off Island] Looking Like A Lost Cause)
[personal profile] standardblack
I’ve been in love before...more than once. And it’s hard, it’s painful, and it’s a burden. Sometimes it feels good, but the rest of the time it’s a hardship. It starts like an obsession, consuming you in every waking moment, and if you manage to get a chance with the one you’re after? You have to work to maintain that relationship.

Then there’s always that fear of losing...and the actual loss itself. It’s emasculates you and leaves you wondering just what all the trouble’s for. If it’s worth it...if anything is worth it.

For a long time, I’ve wondered if it’s worth it...then I met Kate.

And I fell in love with her.

It was just as hard, just as painful as any other time I’ve ever been in love...but it was the first time that it was ever worth it. Being near her gave value to the heartache that loving her promised. Seeing her smile, hearing her made the work to keep her close something that I looked forward to.

I knew I loved her the moment I saw her with Sawyer...because it hurt. It hurt so badly I couldn’t breathe. And even though I knew I’d been set up to see it all...I also knew they hadn’t forced her to sleep with him. Not the way she lay in his arms...not the way he held her.

Sawyer loved Kate...there wasn’t any question in my mind about that. That was why I let her go...why I told her I loved her, even though she spent her nights in his tent and in his arms.

The loss of love itself is the’s crippling. It emasculates you and leaves you wondering just what all the trouble’s for...if it’s worth it.

For Kate, I would, and am enduring that loss. And if I can do more for her than this...I will.

I love her...and there’s not a thing in this world I won’t do for her.

Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Words: 342


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Dr. Jack Sheppard

December 2007

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