[EM] 20 - Complete Opposite
Nov. 7th, 2006 02:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
standardblackMy polar opposite...okay, I know it may sound a little crazy, but I think that my opposite would be a man without any fear of the things that really count. Someone who has no doubts, no inhibitions...who can find even a grim measure of peace in himself.
Again...I know, it’s a little strange, but I can explain. When I say a man with no fear, I don’t necessarily mean a man who isn’t afraid of anything...*or* Stan Lee’s Daredevil, so you can forget about that one right there. I’m talking about someone that isn’t afraid of the more frightening aspects of life...like giving yourself up to something, or someone. Someone who’s not afraid to feel...not afraid to care. It’s the fine line between commitment and love...dedication and desire, need.
I can do commitment. Too often, though, to me it’s all about perpetual motion...the living machine. If I stop, I’m dead. And dead is forever...you can’t come back from it. Every time I’ve ever stopped, someone’s gotten hurt. I know that sometimes when I *didn’t* stop, people got hurt, too...but no one ended up dead.
I question...everything that I am, because I can’t remember the last time I was my own man. My father made me a great doctor, he made me a man that could stand on my own...but usually it was because I had nowhere else to stand. I lost track of what was me and what was him a lot of years ago, and I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten that back. I don’t know if I ever will.
There are things in me I don’t want anyone else to see...things I don’t want anyone else to know. They eat at me...gnaw at me, burn at my brain and whatever soul I may have until I can barely stand it.
You know...it’s kind of screwed up, but I think my polar opposite would be Sawyer...because he invests *everything* into being what he is, and he does it without being afraid of it. The one thing I know we share is that we’re both capable of being mean sons of bitches, but Sawyer...he knows it, and he’s at peace with it. Even the better nature he hates himself for having...he can fight it all he wants, but he knows it’s there and he accepts it, along with the bad.
He’s just as messed up as I am...but he’s not afraid to be that way.
I, on the other hand...I think I always will be.
Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Words: 434
Again...I know, it’s a little strange, but I can explain. When I say a man with no fear, I don’t necessarily mean a man who isn’t afraid of anything...*or* Stan Lee’s Daredevil, so you can forget about that one right there. I’m talking about someone that isn’t afraid of the more frightening aspects of life...like giving yourself up to something, or someone. Someone who’s not afraid to feel...not afraid to care. It’s the fine line between commitment and love...dedication and desire, need.
I can do commitment. Too often, though, to me it’s all about perpetual motion...the living machine. If I stop, I’m dead. And dead is forever...you can’t come back from it. Every time I’ve ever stopped, someone’s gotten hurt. I know that sometimes when I *didn’t* stop, people got hurt, too...but no one ended up dead.
I question...everything that I am, because I can’t remember the last time I was my own man. My father made me a great doctor, he made me a man that could stand on my own...but usually it was because I had nowhere else to stand. I lost track of what was me and what was him a lot of years ago, and I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten that back. I don’t know if I ever will.
There are things in me I don’t want anyone else to see...things I don’t want anyone else to know. They eat at me...gnaw at me, burn at my brain and whatever soul I may have until I can barely stand it.
You know...it’s kind of screwed up, but I think my polar opposite would be Sawyer...because he invests *everything* into being what he is, and he does it without being afraid of it. The one thing I know we share is that we’re both capable of being mean sons of bitches, but Sawyer...he knows it, and he’s at peace with it. Even the better nature he hates himself for having...he can fight it all he wants, but he knows it’s there and he accepts it, along with the bad.
He’s just as messed up as I am...but he’s not afraid to be that way.
I, on the other hand...I think I always will be.
Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: LOST
Words: 434
